The Truth Beneath
Stories written in the quiet hours, when the world softens and it feels like ours for a while.

When They Don’t Hear You:

When They Don’t Hear You: The Invisible Agitation Behind Miscommunication and the Intuition of Letting Go
Have you ever tried to explain something to someone—maybe something they asked about, maybe something you know deeply—and you can feel, even before you finish your sentence, that they’re not really hearing you?
Not just that they don’t understand (that’s forgivable and normal). But that they’re interrupting you, steering you, even questioning your way of explaining the very thing they don’t know about—and then blaming you for being unclear?

It’s subtle. It’s maddening. And it happens all the time.

This is a silent dynamic that plays out in classrooms, relationships, boardrooms, and family dinners. It’s where logic meets ego, and intuition gets drowned out by the noise of mental resistance.

Let’s talk about that.

The Agitated Listener

This isn’t just about “bad listening.” It’s a deeper psychological misalignment—what I’ll call the agitated listener. You’ve seen them (or been them):

– They’re asking questions not to clarify but to control the flow of your explanation.
– They expect answers in a certain format—even though the format doesn’t suit the subject.
– They get frustrated when your explanation doesn’t match the steps they’ve imagined it should follow.
– They lose patience even when they don’t understand the topic themselves.

This isn’t just frustrating. It’s a breakdown of trust—in the speaker, the process, and even the self.

When You’re “Stuck in Your Head”

Now flip the perspective. Maybe you’re the one being told something, but instead of really receiving the message, your mind is already forming responses, objections, analogies, or assumptions.

You’re not being rude—you just can’t help it. You’re trying to orient yourself in something unfamiliar. But in doing so, you close off the space required for intuition to operate.

This is called premature cognitive closure: the brain locks in a meaning before it has fully received the data.

And it’s death to true learning.

The “Procedure Trap” in Learning

Here’s where things get interesting.

Some people can only understand things if it’s taught in the procedure they expect—linear, boxed, and prepackaged. But life doesn’t always work that way.

Say you’re explaining an abstract idea, or a system with moving parts. The other person interrupts:

“Wait, but what about this one detail over here?”

That detail might be relevant eventually, but not now. And by pulling focus there, they’ve derailed the thought path.

Then they accuse you of being unclear.

What happened?

They replaced your actual message with their imagined version of it—then got frustrated that reality didn’t match their internal script.

That’s not learning. That’s trying to bend truth to fit comfort.
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The Miscommunication Loop

Let’s break this down:

Step – What’s Really Happening
The explainer begins – Offering a logical, perhaps nonlinear explanation
The listener interrupts – To ask something they think is missing (but isn’t—yet)
The explainer adjusts – Tries to answer the question midstream, losing flow
The listener doubles down – Still doesn’t understand, blames clarity
The explainer gets flustered – Now defending instead of teaching
Trust erodes – Miscommunication becomes personal frustration

That’s how you move forward. That’s how you live intuitively.

And if you hear something stir—something simple, something soft...
Don’t dismiss it.

That’s where it starts.

That’s where it always starts.



And if you hear something stir—something simple, something soft...
Don’t dismiss it.

That’s where it starts.

That’s where it always starts.

Derek Wolf

If something in this spoke to you, there’s more waiting.
I write, interact, and teach more deeply over at www.L2Bintuitive.com—where we explore how to actually live what you feel.
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